It Moved

6/26/06 - this is actually the date that inspired me to get off my duff and jot down some of my thoughts and - dare I say it - FEELINGS for recollection at a later date.

This day started out like so many... 2 bottles of cough syrup and some chocolate covered espresso beans. Kidding.

On this particular Monday, not only was it my brother's Birthday, but it was also our first visit to the doctor's office for our first baby checkup.

General mood: nervous anticipation.

Arriving at the hospital, hanging out in the waiting room, and even waiting in the examination room was relatively uneventful. Make no mistake, I was not nonchelant or indifferent at this point but the ton of bricks that was still circling at about 20,000' had only begun to make it's descent on my unsuspecting dome.

We sat through a few "what to expect" talks and customary deluge of information, but to be perfectly honest, it felt akin to sitting at the car dealership and having the salesman explain the powertrain warranty in great detail to a first-time driver.

After some time, the doctor told us that it was ultrasound time. Ultrasound? We were under the impression that it was too early for that and there really wouldn't be anything to see. Well, after a few short moments, the doctor came out with this big "ET" finger replica - less the glowing end.

Side note: Here is another clear case of why mankind would be doomed if men were responsible for childbirth. Even the sight of that "thing" had me scanning the room for exits. That, along with the prospect of being separated from beer for 9 months would be certain doom.

So the procedure starts... staring into a little sepia-toned screen, fully expecting to smile politely as we stare at a blob-like gummy-somethingerother. I don't know about you, but half the times, when someone excitedly shows me an early-term ultrasound, I'm really not sure I know what I'm looking at, and I don't think they do either.

The probe continues until the picture focuses in on it/him/her (to be edited at a later date).

Wow.

Head. Arms. Legs. Spine... and the most beautiful little beating heart. It's going a mile a minute... slightly slower than mine is at this point.

Even now though, my joy was slightly muted. Maybe because it still just looked like a picture. I wasn't connecting the dots somewhere. Then it/he/she kicked and started squirming around.

[Bugs Bunny voice]

"Pilot to bombardier, pilot to bombardier, open bomb-bay doors."

"Bombs away. Direct hit."

The mute button was off. We were hearing high-fidelity now.

Up to this time, I think I had only embraced the "concept" of parenthood. Yeah, I realize that I've only begun to see the tip of the iceberg, but I have to tell you, seeing the movement and LIFE made it more real and beautiful than I ever thought possible. The only way I can really describe it is that, at that moment I dropped all cognizant thought and emotionally embraced our unborn child. The tears would attest to that.

It was and continues to be the most joyous and equally fearful place to be.

I'm so thankful that I've been given the blessing of starting to really understand the love of a father.

This Changes Everything

On 5/13/06 - saving for a new Honda S2000 convertible.
On 5/14/06 - saving for a new Honda Odyssey minivan.

*gasp*

Life is going to be changing drastically in a few months.